Miracles Are…

One of my favorite lessons from A Course in Miracles is, “A miracle is a shift in perception.” By changing your perception of a situation, you completely shift your experience, the outcome and how you feel. So true and so amazing. Miracles are also found through gratitude and appreciating what’s all around you. I wrote my first Miracles Are post awhile back, and have decided to make this an ongoing series when I feel compelled to share the miracles in my life.

Miracles are…

  • The best people in the best mastermind supporting your vision and ideas with feedback, support, accountability, resources, and sharing their wealth of knowledge and expertise openly.
  • New opportunities, clients, growth, and experiences, all leading you in a direction that feels more right than you could every have imagine.
  • Amazing vets, medical technology, Care Credit, and all the awesome people and things that lead to the little furry love of my life being healthy and on track to pester me for many mornings to come.
  • Growing your team with just the right people just the right time.
  • Laser focus, right in time for creating some serious awesome in your life and business… letting go of procrastination, scattered focus, and wasted time.
  • Thai food, always.
  • Shut down days, Netflix, little snuggly fuzzy babes, jammy pants, and the wonderful gift of being able to spend some time doing absolutely nothing.
  • Acupressure, and the amazingness that it brings to everyone’s lives. Plus, the ability to guide someone through this simple, powerful practice.
  • Support, in the many ways it shows up exactly when needed.

Life, each and every day. Being able to say annoyingly positive and cliche things like that and meaning it, because things are finally really clicking and falling into place. And what could be better?

WhatAreMiracles

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From My Bookshelf: Intimate Communion by David Deida

I often get asked what I’m reading right now, or what books have had the biggest impact on my life. So today, I want to share a recent read with you that I can’t recommend enough.

Intimate CommunionI’ve been reading a ton of David Deida right now, and loving every single word this man has written. I started with The Way of the Superior Man (great read for both men and women), moved on to Intimate Communion, gave Dear Lover a try, and am currently working on Blue Truth. All amazing books!

The one that’s stood out to me the most so far is Intimate Communion. I started reading Deida when my guy and I had split up and were just starting to really work through things on our own. When I read through this book everything just clicked for me on such a deep level that things haven’t been the same since.

The first thing I realized was that I wasn’t just Miss Independent because “that’s the way I am”, I had become so fiercely  independent out of necessity from my childhood and past relationships. When I had this realization, I had a massive breakdown and the tears from years of feeling unsupported and totally on my own came flooding out.

One of the core concepts of Deida’s work is masculine and feminine energy, and that in order to have polarity in your relationship, you have to have one person in the masculine, and one in the feminine (we all have both, it’s more about your dominant energy within the relationship). For many of us, myself included, we strive to create a balanced and equal 50/50 relationship. What this means is both partners end up pretty balanced with their own masculine and feminine energies so as not to disrupt the order in the relationship.

This is where a lot of the “meh” feelings we find come from. Lack of passion, spark, polarity, depth, connection, and sense of self. Deida talks about the three kinds of relationships in more detail (the dependant relationship, 50/50, and Intimate Communion) and it’s fascinating. I could see myself in each one. My first relationship was highly unhealthy and dependent. My second was absolutely a 50/50 setup… and the relationship I had just left was also shaping up to be 50/50. Thankfully though, I wasn’t interested in settling for less than I desired, and reading Intimate Communion was a big part of creating change for us.

Since reading this book, we’ve both started stepping more fully into our dominant energies… his masculine and mine feminine. This has meant a lot of big changes on my end, and learning to let him lead and take care of me have been big pieces of that. I’ll always have my masculine side, after all, it’s what’s allowed me to build the business I have today and is useful in many aspects of my life. But allowing myself to step more fully into my feminine (soft, open, loving, flowing, and expressive) within our partnership has been amazing.

Learning to stay open to the flow of love has also been a big piece of our healing and creating the love we both want. Staying open is hard. But I’m learning to get still and quiet and open my heart energetically when I feel it closing, and that’s made a world of difference. There’s so much more room for growth and opening, but what little I’ve taken away from this book so far has been hugely life changing.

If you’re looking to create more depth, passion and connection in your relationship, I can’t recommend this book highly enough. I’m obsessed with it.

The friend who gave it to me said he had a box of them and he handed them out to everyone… which I thought was odd at first, but I get it now. If I could ship this book off to every person I know in a relationship, I totally would. It’s that good. 

You can grab your copy on Amazon, or check out Deida’s site for more!

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Create More Time in the Day and Accomplish Amazing Things

Last week I did a webinar on setting big and exciting goals for 2015 (you can catch the replay here). It seems appropriate to also talk about one of the biggest culprits that keeps us from achieving what we want… wasted time.

In the last couple months, I’ve been learning how to really hyper focus. I’ve always been pretty focused, and I’ve always been big on choosing 2 – 3 priorities at any given time, but I’ve still spent a great deal of my life and time completely scattered. Because I’m also hyper aware of the fact that life is really, really short, I’m not big on wasting a lot of time, especially when there’s SO MUCH I want to do!

I’ve gotten months worth of work done in a matter of days, had more down time to unwind and relax than I’ve had in a long time, and am really making progress on some projects and goals that are super important to me. All from a few simple steps that I’m going to share with you today!

Create More Time in the Day and Accomplish Amazing Things

How to Create More Hours in the Day

1) Get really clear on how you spend your time.

For at least one week, track your time and get really honest with yourself about how you’re spending it. You may find you spent far more time watching TV, surfing the web mindlessly, or simply debating about whether or not to go to the gym than you realize. This is all precious, wasted time. The sooner you have a real look at where your time is going, the sooner you can start to spend more time on the things that matter. Don’t guesstimate on the areas you know you waste your time, actually track it.

2) Get a handle on your time.

Part two of understanding how you spend your time right now is clearly defining how you want to be spending it. Sit down and write down everything you want and need to be doing… workouts, client time, meetings, morning routine, self care timeouts, errands, bill paying, meal prep or planning, etc. Where do you absolutely need to spend your time? And more importantly, how do you want to be spending it? What projects or goals do you want to be working towards? Get honest about what activities need to be eliminated or reduced, such as TV, social media, mindless web surfing, or anything else that isn’t really adding value to your life in a way that feels really amazing.

3) Use time blocks to manage your week.

Time blocks have been HUGE for me, and I haven’t even mastered them 100%. The first thing I did was block off all the time I needed to spend on certain things like writing (blog posts, Awesome Life Tips™, Mastery member content, etc.), paying bills, running errands, working out, and checking email/Facebook, etc. Then, I started dropping time blocks on my calendar for projects… I blocked all the time I need to be following up with coaching clients and working on website designs. And finally, looking at how my weeks were broken down, I got honest about where I could block some time for other projects or fun things I really want to be doing.

4) Know that this will create more freedom.

This may not be true for everyone, but as a person who values freedom above all else, taking the time to schedule my time actually feels way more freeing to me than leaving things open ended. Partly because I don’t spend so much time bouncing between tasks, wondering what I should be working on, or assuming things will all get done with enough time for me to do what I want. Having time blocks has helped me stay hyper focused on the task at hand… and knowing that there’s a set end time makes it like a “beat the clock” game for me.

Take action now!

Do you know how you’re spending your time? Do you feel like you’re making progress towards what you really desire in your life? If not, work through the steps above and share with me how you’ll start making changes to your time this week!

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What is love?

In the last year, I’ve learned a lot about love and what it means to be in a healthy, loving relationship. So when my brother asked me to do a reading at my older sister’s wedding, I felt compelled to write the following for her and her fiancé. There’s an inside joke mixed in there you may or may not get. :)

What is love?

Love is about faith.

Faith in yourselves, one another, and the higher power that directs you and your lives. The higher power that brought you both together and carried you through all the highs, lows, bumps, bruises, hugs, and kisses on the path that led you here today. These bumps and bruises, and all the ones yet to come, are exactly what you need to become the people you’re here to be, and to best love and care for one another throughout your marriage.

Love is about truth.

Showing up fully, authentically, and vulnerably in each moment of your lives together. Always speaking what’s true for you with love and kindness, and allowing the other to do the same. Truth is not a one time thing, and your truths will shift as you change and grow as individuals. The more you can love and honor one another’s truth, the more deeply you can root into your lives together and the easier it will be to build love that lasts a lifetime.

Love is about opening.

Opening more fully and deeply to one another in total surrender to the beauty and chaos that is love. To the highs and the lows. To the good times and bad. To the many experiences that life will bring your way. Closing down out of fear and resentment is easy, that’s why so many marriages and relationships fail. Staying open? It takes work. It takes trust. It takes faith. When you feel yourself closing out of hurt, anger, or fear, remember this moment. The moment you chose to build a life together, how deep your love is, and choose to open again to love and each other.

Love is about forgiveness.

Forgiving yourself and each other for your mistakes, shortcomings, unkind words, and actions. Remember that while you’re both spiritual and divine beings, you’re also two humans building a life together. You’re building a home together, and sometimes that means sharing a tiny little bathroom where the heat from showering can make for a cranky koala bear in the mornings. Forgiving the flaws, imperfections, unkind words, bursts of anger, and unavoidable mishaps so you can continue to grow together rather than stay stuck in hurt and resentment.

But love is also about accountability.

Holding one another accountable to live up to your full potential, which means calling each other out, never giving up when one of you is down, and always showing up when it matters most. It’s about knowing each other fully, loving and accepting it all, even the parts you may not always like, and creating the space for you both to show up fully. Love is also about loving yourself first, so you’re able to show up and support one another. Honoring each other’s needs and desires, compromising and creating change when it feels right, but always allowing each other to be their own amazing person in the world.

Love is simply about showing up.

Open, truthful, vulnerable, and sometimes hurt or angry.
Choosing, every single day, to love and honor each other.

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My 35 Before 35 List

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As I enter my 30s, one of the biggest things I’m focusing on is prioritizing my time and focusing on what’s most important in life, love and work. I’m a highly productive person, no doubt about that… but if I’m honest, I wasted a whole lot of my 20s. Sure, a lot of that was due to the epic (as well as early and long) quarter-life crisis), but it also had a lot to do with not really prioritizing my time.

I’m really, truly excited to be in my 30s. Leaving my 20s and all the chaos that they contained behind feels good. I’m so grateful for the chapter of my life, and there was a whole lot of good, but I’m so ready for this new decade. As I’ve said before, I suddenly feel very grown up! And I’ve been doing a lot of work to get to that place.

Part of really prioritizing my time is coming up with some focused goals. I didn’t rock my 30 before 30 list, but I’m not surprised… and it’s also totally okay. I did a lot of amazing things in my 29th year. And same as when I set that list, I truly hope to accomplish all that’s below, but I won’t beat myself up if I don’t.

I say this because it’s a 35 before 35 list, which includes five full years (half a decade!). If my 20s taught me anything it’s that I’m constantly in flux, so this list will likely adjust to that as well.

My 35 Before 35 List:

1) Learn French + speak it in France.

2) Get my nonprofit up and running.

3) Do a TED talk.

4) Pay off all my debt.

5) Do 365 days of daily creativity.

6) Become a yogi.

7) Get certified in nutrition.

8) Publish at least two more books.

9) Make and sell beautiful art.

10) Become an intuitive energy healer.

11) Take a road trip up the west (aka best!) coast.

12) Speak and hold live events.

13) Get my body into it’s best shape.

14) Find “home” and move there.

15) Make 7 figures in my business.

16) Go to race car driving school.

17) Run my first half marathon.

18) Restore my corvette.

19) Let truth be my religion.

20) Get another tattoo.

21) Have laser eye surgery.

22) Have a beautiful event/office space.

As of now this list is incomplete because, again, it’s half a decade here! I want to leave myself some room to grow it and add to it as it feels right. I’d love to know, what’s on your current life bucket list? :)

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Not only did Stephenie help pinpoint my passions, but she also helped me get started on creating my business. I now know what my passions and purpose are in life and am excited to continue on this path. I have the clarity I so desired before I started this journey. I feel free because I have a deeper sense of self and purpose. — Adlin Cedeno