What If It’s Not about Changing Your Vocabulary?

Over the years, I’ve talked a lot about changing our vocabulary in order to change our lives. How words carry energy and actual vibrations that have an effect on how we feel and what we can or cannot create for ourselves. I still believe this 100%. It’s how we manifest. It’s real and measurable.

Words, and the ways we choose to use them, are important.

That said, as I deepen my own spiritual practices and settle into the work I’m being called to do, I’m learning that simply changing our vocabulary is more of a “level one” approach to making positive changes. And while it’s effective and was hugely transformational for me when I began implementing it… it can also actively deny a side of us that’s as powerful, important, healthy, and necessary as our positivity is. It denies a side to life that is real and true and normal.

It denies the darkness.
It covers up the wounds.
It avoids the shadows.

It leaves us unbalanced and incomplete, because until we know how to feel safe inside the pockets of life that are darker and harder than most, we lack the strength and understanding to hold steady through them.

To expand inside of them. To become more healed and whole and bright because of them. We lack the ability to feel them all the way through and find the strength and joy and positivity that require the darkness and shadows to even exist.

We tuck the “bad” and “negative” words and emotions down inside our bodies, where they simmer and fester and metastasize into illness.

We smile and say, “things could be better,” when really we want to rip the photos of the ones who hurt us off the walls and stomp them into scraps as we scream.

We take a deep breath and say, “my life is very full right now,” instead of curling up in a mess of tears on the floor and admitting just how broken and worn and overwhelmed we feel by the tiniest aspects of the day.

We hold our chins up high and say, “God never gives us more than we can handle,” when really the weight of all that’s wrecking havoc on our hearts is eating at our insides, and we’re not sure we can make it through another day.

I’m finding that the next level, for me, has been about changing the energy behind the words, rather than banishing them from my vocabulary.

I’m learning that we can say “bad” and “negative” things from a place of love and acceptance. We can call ourselves damaged with pride and empowerment. We can admit we’re struggling with strength and grace. We can acknowledge that in the grand scheme, nothing really matters, with trust and faith and massive gratitude or enthusiasm for all that we have before us.

When we say things from a place of fear or negativity, it holds us prisoner and reinforces realities that don’t have to be tied to the words that slip from our mouths. When we say the same things from a place of love and trust and belief in a supportive, loving Universe, we expand into possibility, reinforcing realities that are so big and beautiful, we could never name them on our own.

I’m not ashamed to admit I’m damaged.
I’m not embarrassed to share that I’m struggling.
I’m not scared to tell you life is challenging me.
I’m not afraid to say that I’m being ripped to pieces.

Because I don’t believe those statements to be “bad” or “negative.”

I don’t believe that saying “damaged” means I’m broken in ways that make me unlovable or incapable of greatness. I don’t believe that saying “struggle” locks me into a constant state of stress and overwhelm. I don’t believe “life ripping me to pieces” is a terrible thing I will never overcome or be stronger because of. I don’t believe “challenge” is a thing to fear or avoid.

I have trust and faith.
I believe love is at the core of everything.
I know I’m being supported, always.

These are the beliefs that fuel my words and what I say about myself, my life, and my work. And I don’t feel that banishing the truth and realities of our situations is the answer to creating phenomenal lives… it’s only the answer to a temporary sense of peace and fulfillment.

Until we integrate the two and shift the energy at our core wholly and completely, we’re not living life fully expressed. We’re not able to create true alignment and show up powerfully and joyfully in every moment, no matter what. Instead we just hide behind polished words and pretty affirmations, which won’t create any positive changes unless the right energy is attached.

Shifting the energy is about self love and compassion. Acceptance of all the parts and energies that want to show up in the moment. Integration and an understanding that there is nothing wrong with the darkness or the hard emotions. Welcoming them with love and an open heart, and allowing them to move through you. Fully. Completely. Truthfully.

Take a moment to get honest… where are you covering up the truth with pretty words and fluffy affirmations? Where can you stand to be more transparent with how you really feel? How can you shift into this truth with love and acceptance, and trust that everything is perfect and as it should be?